Good Enough

     Today, I joined some of my extended family to celebrate the force of nature that was our sister Evelyn.  We gathered in her favorite place on the planet--the Rocky Neck artist colony in Gloucester, Massachusetts.  Her mother, aunts, brothers and son rode out past the lighthouse on a friend's boat, flanked by two of Evelyn's paddling buddies on their SUPs (Stand Up Paddleboards). The rest of our small band watched from the dock and the shore.  Some heartfelt words were spoken.  Tears and laughs were shared.  And then Evie's cremated remains were sent adrift from the sheltered harbor in a specially designed biodegratable bowl.
     I have been anticipating this day for weeks now.  As the plans for her funeral were being made, it was decided that just such a ceremony would be held "soon."  It's been 49 days since she drowned in the very sea we just released her into.  Forty-nine days that I've wrestled with the absurd idea that this sister-I-chose, whose zest for life was as big as her smile, is gone.  Forty-nine days where I've repeatedly picked up the phone to call her, only to remember that she won't answer.  Forty-nine days.
   
     In 49 days, I could be harvesting produce from my garden.  In 49 days, I could complete an entire semester of college. Forty-nine days is enough time to accomplish something significant.  It's not enough time to begin to grieve, though.